Yeah, my job is so awesome that they pay for the entire company to go see The Avengers at the Cinerama on opening day. It’s not a spoiler to say that Loki eventually finds himself in need of a good drink. Here’s a little something something that sounds all girly and innocent with the amaretto, but will kick your ass if you don’t walk around swinging a really big hammer. And by hammer, I mean…
Loki’s Revenge
3 oz Bulleit bourbon
.5 oz amaretto
.5 oz Becherovka
2 dashes Bittermen’s Mole Bitters
Stir everything with ice in a Tesseract. Realize you don’t have a fucking Tesseract. Go for the Yarai mixing glass instead. Realize you’re really pretentious for requiring one of these and go for a pint glass. Do a few scritcha-scratcha motions with the barspoon and tilt a little on the ground for MCA. Pour it all into an old fashioned glass (because yes, it’s an old-fashioned, basically), then go all Hulk on an orange with the vegetable peeler to get yourself a really nice piece of peel. Express the oil over the drink and on the rim. Try to get that fucking Madonna “Express Yourself” song out of your head. Drop in the peel, add a Les Parisiennes brandied cherry on a stick, and try to figure out what to name this thing on the blog.
I think it should be mandatory to have a couple of these before being asked to believe that Scarlett Johannsen is a master assassin.